Tuesday, September 01, 2009

Back to School Humor

Funny stuff from The Onion - an advice column called Ask A College Professor Having Trouble With The Audiovisual Equipment. Click the link to the story for more "advice."
Dear College Professor Having Trouble With The Audiovisual Equipment,
Our son is at sleepaway camp this week, and I think he's more homesick than he is letting on. I want to drive up there and check on him, but my husband insists that we stay at home and let him get through it by himself. I understand my husband's thinking, but my Greg is only 11 years old. Am I just afraid to let go?

—Worried Mom In Montana

Dear Worried Mom In Montana,

Okay class, so today we are going to be talking about geopolitical competition in Armenia during the Middle Ages. As soon as the projector gets going, we'll start. Sometimes it just takes a few minutes to warm up. Um, while we have a little bit of time, does anybody have any questions? Anything about the reading for today or about what we talked about on Monday? No? Well, just a couple more seconds here and we should be on our way. Hmm, I feel like that light should be green. Anyway, I'll just get started, and when it comes on I'll….Okay, something is definitely not right. The screen should not be blinking like that.

Dear College Professor Having Trouble With The Audiovisual Equipment,

Yesterday I was buying groceries, and I got distracted for a moment at the checkout. I could have sworn I gave the cashier a $20 bill, but she said I never paid. I didn't want to hold up the line or look like a cheapskate so I gave her another twenty, but I am certain I overpaid. Should I go back to the store and say something or just accept this as 'one of those things?'

—Twenty Short In Sharpsburg

Dear Twenty Short In Sharpsburg,

There's a checklist on the lectern here. One, make sure your computer power is on. Okay. Two, log on with your UTA Net password. Did that. Three, plug the cables (VGA/audio) provided on the lectern into your laptop. Hmm. If your laptop does not show up, hold down the 'fn' key. What does that mean? Does anybody know what that means? Any of you guys know about this stuff? Brian, you don't know anything about this stuff, do you? Now it's saying 'No Input in VID 2.' VID 2, VID 2, VID 2. Should it be VID 1? Does that make any sense? Isn't VID 1 the DVD player? All right, I'm going to try turning it off and back on again. Class, you can relax for a few minutes while I figure this out, but once we get started we're going to have to zip through some of this. We're still having that exam on Friday.

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